Shan might be known as a “pastor” according to her on-screen occupation, but she had a very interesting getting path there. (Plus, she’s also a comedian and an actress!) But ahead of Shan’s appearance on Survivor 41, she spoke with Global TV about how she became the pastor she is today.

“Bouncing around from foster home to foster home, I didn’t have a lot of money, so I got mixed up and involved in some really reckless activities,” Shan revealed. “I was initiated into a gang. You’re around a lot of shady people who do a lot of shady things. My life was really hard. I really battled with rejection, suicide, depression, and my identity.”

That doesn’t seem like the natural progression into pastoral life, but Shan worked to overcome her childhood hardships. “I wouldn’t be a pastor [who's] as helpful as I am, as relevant as I am in the spaces that I occupy, whether it’s working with a housing authority, foster care homes, speaking at schools, or even at the churches that I’m in or community centers,” she mused. “While I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anybody, I value it and I cherish it.”

We also learn in Episode 5 a bit more about Shan’s past. Child Protective Services took her from her mother at a young age, and she had a lot of anger towards her mother as a result.

However, later in life, Shan and her mother reconnected before she passed away. Now, Shan says that her mother is one of her biggest heroes. It’s that sort of love and forgiveness, as well as her resilience, that fans love about Shan.